Relationship Issues

🤐 Are you Trapped in a Toxic Relationship?

🤐 Do you often Fall Prey to Bullies and Narcissists?

🤐 Are you a Victim of Gaslighting?

🤐 Do you keep Attracting People into Your Life who Demonstrate Controlling Patterns of Behaviour?

🤐 Are others Sabotaging You and Controlling Your Life?

🤐 Do you have Narcissistic Control in Your Lineage / Family Tree?

🤐 Do you Feel Stuck an Long for a Life of Freedom?

🤐 Do you feel Isolated with No One to Turn To?

 

Mental Manipulation & Emotional Abuse

 

These forms of hidden abuse are prevalent in today’s society – and men, women and children can all be victims of bullying, manipulative and controlling behaviour. Although control mechanisms and forms of emotional and physical abuse are most common within romantic relationships, they can also exist in close friendships, within the workplace, and family members may also adopt them. 

 

Abusers can emotionally and mentally devastate, manipulate, control and traumatise their target until they are left feeling completely powerless and helpless. 

 

Are You A Victim?

 

Its easy to become caught up in the web of a controlling relationship with someone who essentially poisons your self-esteem, happiness and wellbeing.

 

Whether the tactics and manipulative behaviour are overt or subtle, over time you can be left feeling completely disempowered as the abuser systematically undermines you. They can destroy your identity, make you doubt yourself and also lower your self-esteem. This can have a detrimental impact your health and wellbeing, and can contribute to illness and disease. 

 

When subjected to sustained controlling behaviour, you can become more prone to numerous ailments including adrenal fatigue, weight loss or gain, chronic fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, PTSD, confusion, brain fog, auto-immune disorders, digestive problems, arthritis, and increased dependancy on alcohol or other substances. If left untreated it can have a crippling, life-long effect on your mental health. 

 

How Sessions Can Help?

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Treatmentsat Silver Birch Therapies can release you from destructive relationships and negative repeating patterns. They can help you to heal past traumas so that you can move forward in an empowered way. 

 

Client Testimonial

 

My Client Testimonial demonstrates a story of courage, self worth and inner strength. I wanted to share her brave journey with you - and show how she managed to get away from a controlling relationship and move towards a life of freedom... 

 

"I was going through the most traumatic time of my life and had reached the lowest of the low. I was trapped in a loveless controlling relationship with an alcoholic violent partner who often beat me up. He never acknowledged nor apologised for his actions and always claimed he was the victim. He was a complete narcissist, although I was completely unaware of this at the time. 

 

I persevered with his violence and found myself making excuses for his actions. I even doubted myself, and started to believe that I must be the perpetrator. Usually I am a happy, confident person, but I found myself cut off from my family and social group. My health was deteriorating and I felt trapped and helpless, and unable to confide in anyone about what was going on behind closed doors.

 

One night, it reached the point when he almost strangled me and whilst struggling to get away from his firm grip, I had to kick him. The following morning he sought an apology from me - but when I explained what had happened, he bizarrely had no recollection and showed no remorse. 

 

A few weeks later he got drunk again and this time it spiralled out of control. He catergorically threatened to kill me. His mannerisms and tone terrified me - he was so stern and composed and accompanied with his violent actions, I feared for my life. 

 

In the morning, I noticed myself still making excuses for his behaviour; 'it's so out of his character',' he needs help'. Despite everything that was going on, I actually wanted to help him - a man who was constantly physically and emotionally abusing me! 

 

At this point I sought help from Silver Birch Therapies.  

 

Almost immediately after the remote treatment, I found the inner strength to leave him. I suddenly had a reality check and was given the push to do something rather than make more excuses. I reported him to the police and he was arrested and charged. 

 

During the court case, I remained calm and felt stronger than I could ever imagine. I was not angry - just relieved to have focus at last and to see it for what it was. It gave me the opportunity to be free. He was given a restraining order and also sent on a rehabilitation programme, so I actually believe that we both benefited from the outcome. 

 

I dread to think what would have happened if I had not received my treatment. It scares me that I may not be here to tell the tale. The inner strength and self worth I received was instantanious and helped me see through the cloudy disillusioned ideas I had to try to work on a relationship that was beyond saving. On reflection things with this man were never right in the first place."

 

Control Mechanisms

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Are You in a Toxic Relationship?

 

There are various signs that show when your relationships with others has entered toxic territory:

• You feel like you're walking on eggshells, and can't share your opinions without fear of their reaction.

• You like yourself less when you're in the company of this person. They don't bring out the best in you.

• There is imbalance in the relationship and you aren't listened to. Your opinions are often overruled, and you find they make the majority of decisions.

• You don't feel appreciated or acknowledged, and are often taken advantage of.

• The relationship is one-sided. 

• They are physically or emotionally abusive or aggressive towards you.

• They can't regulate their emotions and lose their temper, so you feel unable to express yourself in a healthy way.

• They lie to you and this has become a repeating pattern.

• They engage in behaviour that you don't approve of.

• They are passive aggressive towards you and seem happy when things aren't going so well for you.

• They try and make you feel jealous.

• You tolerate behaviour from them that you wouldn't normally accept from others.

• They ignore you, give you the cold shoulder or withhold affection.

• You feel drained by their constant negativity and poisonous attitude.

• You dread being around them and get physical symptoms when you are near them or when they are in contact. You are living in fight or flight mode.

• You have become unhappy, anxious, insecure and paranoid. You start questioning yourself.

• You feel criticised - about your appearance, intellect, behaviour or personality. There is contempt, sarcasm, ridicule, name-calling and negative body language such as sneering and eye-rolling.

• They use emotional blackmail on you.

• You feel isolated from others.

• Others voice their concerns about your relationship. Their perspective may help you to realise that your relationship is dysfunctional. 

 

Are You a Victim of Gaslighting?​​

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Gaslighting is a harmful form of emotional abuse which knocks your self-confidence so that you can be easily manipulated into doing whatever the perpetrator wishes. Seeds of doubt are sown into your mind and self-esteem is gradually whittled away until you are left questioning whether what you experience, think and feel is real or some fantasy your mind made up.

 

You can be left feeling confused and disoriented so that the perpetrator gains total control over you. Gaslighting also degrades your ability to challenge the abuser because every time you do, the goalposts are moved, and your arguments can be turned against you. Eventually you can become totally incapacitated by fear and doubt.  

 

Symptoms You May Experience

• You constantly second-guess yourself.

• You start to believe you are too sensitive.

• You often feel confused and find it difficult to make simple decisions.

• You are constantly apologising.

• You can't understand why you feel so unhappy.

• You regularly make excuses for your partner’s behaviour.

• You feel like you can’t do anything right.

• You feel like you aren’t good enough for others.

• You sense that you used to be a more confident, relaxed and happy person.

• You withhold information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain things.

 

Are You Trapped in a Narcissistic Relationship?

 

 

Narcissists usually have common traits, and make you feel worthless, confused, belittled and degraded so that they subjugate you to their will. They are masters of language and use words to deceive, coerce, seduce and mislead you. Despite being charming around others; in private they can spout poisonous, vitriolic abuse at you. Their behaviour can cause you to have anxiety, depression, and a whole host of other psychological effects.

 

Narcissists have a delusional, inflated vision of self-importance, and believe they are superior. They have an exaggerated view of their achievements and abilities, and have a need for excessive attention, constant admiration and praise from those around them. Behind their mask of extreme confidence however lies a fragile vulnerable self-esteem. If they ever face the slightest criticism or views that do not align with their own, they get extremely defensive, dismissive or aggressive.

 

They have a bloated sense of entitlement and believe they are more deserving than others. They can become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment. 

 

They can be extremely selfish and don't like sharing the spotlight. They monopolise conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior - and feel no remorse for heaping unhappiness on others. They are exploitative of others and take advantage to achieve their own ends. 

 

Narcissists also lack empathy and are completely unwilling to recognise or identify with the feelings and needs of others. They can have difficulty regulating emotions and behaviour and can react with rage or contempt and can exhibit impulsive behaviour. 

 

Symptoms You May Experience as a Victim of a Narcissist

 

 

If you have ever suffered at the hands of a narcissist, you may have been left questioning your own feelings, instincts and sanity - and inadvertently handed over all power and control to your abuser. ​

• You mistrust those who support you (e.g. family and friends).

• You feel abandoned, and believe that only the narcissist cares and understands you.

• You feel worthless.

• You doubt your ability to think or make decisions.

• You disconnect from your own wants and needs.

• You give in to whatever the narcissist wants.

• You devalue your contributions.

• You obsess over your faults or mistakes.

• You ignore or make excuses for the narcissist’s actions.

• You do everything you can to try to gain narcissist’s favour and obsess how to keep them happy.

• You iIdealise the narcissist.

• You are oblivious and disconnected from your own emotional pain and mental anguish.

• You are obsessed with your own failures and feelings of inadequacy.

• You desperately seek answers on how to solve the specific problems and flaws the narcissist has identified in you.

 

You may be under the influence of Bullies, Narcissists and Manipulators and may not even be aware of it. The terrifying thing is that often victim's are completely blind to their abuser's behaviour. This article How to Recognize Someone With Covert Narcissism explains how someone may still be controlling you under the radar! 

 

Whatever experience you are going though, please don't suffer in silence. Contact Silver Birch Therapiesnow for a FREE Confidential Consultation.